how the fuck am i supposed to make life decisions i’m not even sure i want to be alive
literally dont understand why im on this earth at all like i am not worth anything whatsoever. at all. im not good at anything and all i do is fuck things up. i cant do anything. im a fucking failure of a college student, i suck at horseback riding and im good for nothing.
do you ever have the urge to just tear your skin open with a brand new razor???? because i do!! i did!! do you ever just want to smash a fucking mirror because when you look at it all you see is an ugly girl staring back, so ugly that shes suprised the mirror hasnt broken yet because its showing her reflection???
i hate every fucking bone in my body im such an ugly disgusting human being and i see no reason for me to live. i dont see any purpose for my life and i dont even want to go to school anymore. college sucks, im so anti social and i dont want to do anything but eat, sleep, homework and workout. nothing is good about who i am and im a disgusting ugly horrible person who is a horrible student. i dont understand how i can be such a gross person. like why am i even here right now. i dont get it. i hate every fiber of my being and i wish nothing for myself because nothing good could ever come from me. i have no friends and no one even likes me. but i guess it makes sense why.